It's not you, it's me

I've got this little friend.... He's sometimes such an annoyance. He talks out whenever he wants, often giving away the answer to a question I've just posed to someone else. He's a bit bigger than my other students, and his size and way he handles himself makes him a bit intimidating to my other students -- plus the fact that he can't seem to leave his hands to himself. He comes up and asks me questions during Guided Reading -- and he knows the answer; or he's actually done the "ask 3 before me" and someone else has told him the answer. He argues with the para who comes in my room. Even when I catch him doing something, he argues and says he didn't.

But Thursday and Friday of last week were a reprieve for some reason. He was calmer. He was polite. He was helpful -- both to me and other students. He stood in line without touching anyone. No one was whining his name -- I'm sure you can imagine. 

We use Class Dojo at my school. I have to say, I don't give many negative points. I've read some blogs about this that just make sense to me. I try hard to look for the positive. But with this student ... all I could see were negatives, which meant a negative point. And one day last week, can't remember which, I heard a student say "R has negative points." Yep, and he's the only one. Well, that sticks out like a sore thumb. 

And I started thinking:
It's not you, it's me!
{Haha... see this post and this post and this post!}

OK, not totally -- you, my little friend, are responsible for your own behaviors. But I, dear teacher, am responsible for mine - and my reactions - and my decisions. 

So what do I think happened? I think we both had better attitudes on Thursday and Friday. And it showed. And it made a difference.

But guess what - I want to be the kind of person I want to be {and that is not a reactive person} kind and gentle.