Monday, October 12, 2015

It's not you, it's me

I've got this little friend.... He's sometimes such an annoyance. He talks out whenever he wants, often giving away the answer to a question I've just posed to someone else. He's a bit bigger than my other students, and his size and way he handles himself makes him a bit intimidating to my other students -- plus the fact that he can't seem to leave his hands to himself. He comes up and asks me questions during Guided Reading -- and he knows the answer; or he's actually done the "ask 3 before me" and someone else has told him the answer. He argues with the para who comes in my room. Even when I catch him doing something, he argues and says he didn't.

But Thursday and Friday of last week were a reprieve for some reason. He was calmer. He was polite. He was helpful -- both to me and other students. He stood in line without touching anyone. No one was whining his name -- I'm sure you can imagine. 

We use Class Dojo at my school. I have to say, I don't give many negative points. I've read some blogs about this that just make sense to me. I try hard to look for the positive. But with this student ... all I could see were negatives, which meant a negative point. And one day last week, can't remember which, I heard a student say "R has negative points." Yep, and he's the only one. Well, that sticks out like a sore thumb. 

And I started thinking:
It's not you, it's me!
{Haha... see this post and this post and this post!}

OK, not totally -- you, my little friend, are responsible for your own behaviors. But I, dear teacher, am responsible for mine - and my reactions - and my decisions. 

So what do I think happened? I think we both had better attitudes on Thursday and Friday. And it showed. And it made a difference.

But guess what - I want to be the kind of person I want to be {and that is not a reactive person} kind and gentle.  









5 comments:

  1. I love this post because I can completely relate. I have a handful in my room that are like your little boy and, boy, can they quickly ruin my day, if I let them. Sometimes it's hard to remember (before reacting) that my reaction is uber important to what comes next from my little friends. Thanks for sharing, because this job is SO tough sometimes.

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    1. I'm so glad I'm not the only one! And I liked what you said -- they can ruin my day IF I let them. Don't want to let them! Thanks for the encouragement!
      Sara

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  2. You're speaking my language here. It sounds like we know the same children, and it can be so trying and consuming to figure out how to help them find their greatness.

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    1. Tammy - So consuming -- yes. And Greatness - love your thought on this - yes, help me find their greatness, and convey that to them! Thanks for the encouragement!
      Sara

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  3. Sara, that is great! Thank you for sharing your "story." I have a kid that I thought about last week, and I NEED to bump up the positives. Thanks for this, it is just what I need.
    Alyce

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